Life update and unexpected rant.

     It's been a long couple of weeks, been working on keeping up in school, the dance group, socially, cats, family, friends, Robert, and spiritually. It's been a crazy balancing act..so I can't wait til the dance group finally performs and will allow me to free up some time. But of course we plan on doing another show but we seem to all be in agreement that it needs to be after this semester is over. Most of us girls are pretty busy with school, work, and other commitments we have made this semester. Are show is this Saturday...three days away I am so nervous, but we got this!!
     The days have just been flying by this year, I cannot believe we are almost in March now, It's probably due to the increased acceleration of our planet..or maybe it's just because at this time everything seems to be picking up speed because everyone's busy..or maybe it's both... I have to finish up two scholarships before the deadline, which with Mercury retrograde has made a bit difficult since I keep having delays. But I have been asking the God Mercury aka Hermes to help me in travel, deadlines, and all that can go wrong in this retrograde. I have had a few technical difficulties and my mind has been really forgetful lately, but so long as I ask for help, continue throughout the retrograde in patients, self reflection and communicate carefully  I should be fine.
     This next month what I will be working on most is getting my shop up and running. I have been slowly working on it but I have yet to start making more items, taking pictures (Thanks to my practically new camera's lens not working had to get that fixed..which it is now!!), nor put them up on Etsy or my Facebook page yet. I have been so busy with school, friends, family, the dance group, and making my love happy. But I need to definitely spend some home time and get some stuff done!!! Also wanted to start making more YouTube videos, I haven't done them in a while because my iflip stopped working and my webcam doesn't work as well for videos...especially since I run around a lot with the camera haha...which reminds me I have one to put up right now from Imbolc!! **Goes to post it up on YouTube**..for those of you who do not know my channel it is: SunShineTheWitch's Channel      **Video is now uploading!!**

      Ugh, my Mom just came into my room to complain about my Dad...she just can't not talk shit about him at some point. I do not want that negativity in my room...I think I need to have a talk with her about it...like do not come to me..especially in my room which is my sacred space to spew your negativity in...now I feel irritated and icky..because she was so into the shit she was talking that she didn't even want to listen to ANYTHING I had to say..it's my room dude..and you came to me..to pour your negativity on me and then leave...I do not appreciate it..nor do i want her letters in my room anymore, those are the two things that she needs to abide by before I go crazy. 1. No spewing negativity in my room..do it in your room..I don't want your negativity nor do I want to hear it when I'm busy or trying to do homework..I know you don't feel that I am busy nor do you care but it kind of pisses me off. 2. No more notes under my door, it always puts me in a bad mood because of bad experiences when I was little..like 10 and you'd leave me 10 page notes on what I did wrong, what I needed to do, and if I didn't do what you'd tell me to do then I'd be in some kind of trouble...or I was so horrible for leaving dirty dishes..I was a kid..and even as a teen..I was just a teen..and even though I clean my own dishes and work my ass off I feel taken advantage of because you do not appreciate it. You tell me how much I used to love your notes, yes used to because you crammed that shit down my throat so much I loathe seeing them..I feel it's an invasion of my sacred space, puts me in a bad mood in the morning instantly because I still have the same feelings as when I was younger..but worse..So no more of that. And by the way if you want to come into my room and complain about Dad spending money, you best expect I am going to say something about the Car he has owed me since 2010. Yet you "don't want to get into that" with him because you don't get into everything else with him..that's my job...how? I'll just make it worse...because it will be "disrespectful" to him to ask for such things...but yet he promised it to me for when i graduated high school..I want my car...My mom says..well you practically own my car...and I'm like yes well that's all an good BUT 1. not the point and 2. Whether she wants to admit it, or even like it (which she wont) but the time for me to move out is coming soon...I can feel it..if I stay here too much longer I feel it really can damage my relationship with my mother. I'm 22, my boyfriend Robert and I have been talking about moving out..within the next year or so..and I'm hoping sooner rather than later. And my Mom and I's relationship is already being strained..since she doesn't understand that I'm not that 10 yr old she can tell what to do anymore..I am an adult..who is dependent on her mother still....but I am not a maid, I am not to be spoken down to or treated like a child...I feel there's a thin line...she argues that we are NOT roommates..but we are...she will always be my parent, my mom, but at this point the child/teen/adolescent part of our relationship needs to be let go. I'm not saying I don't appreciate all my mother does for me, I mean she lets me live here for free, lets me have friends and boyfriend over whenever,  allows me to use the car for school and almost anything I want, lets me practice my spirituality however I please and even has long enthralling convos with me about spirituality itself..I am well aware of how lucky I really am..but that doesn't discard the fact that she can't tell me to do something "right now"...I do go to school and get paid for it, working on filling out scholarships, volunteering for my horticulture club events, being the President of the Horticulture club, taking care of my animals, myself, my spirituality, the dance group, spending some time with my boyfriend who by the way lives 40 mins away, and trying to get my shop up and running...so it's not like I'm sitting in my room all the time doing nothing..and when that does happen..on a very rare occasion..it's because I want and NEED to relax...and I also have fibromyalgia to deal with so that makes each day a little harder than the average person's day...because If I overwork myself, eat something wrong, or get stressed out/irritated..I fall ill...my body aches and then my head hurts..may get nauseous depending on the day..and it's a lot to handle..While she doesn't really do much of anything at all...all day...she makes herself sick by eating bad food, junk food, meat, no exercise ever, never going out into the sun, refuses to have any normal sleep schedule, never drinks water, or even go to the doctor..she has high blood pressure, osteoporosis, and her teeth are falling out...yet she wonders why she doesn't ever feel good, and wonders why I get irritated when she asks me to do something last minute, or why I don't have time to sit and watch TV all day with her, or even a conversation..because when I'm busy it doesn't seem like she gives a damn because she isn't busy...so my time is irrelevant. I have things to do...and if you need me to do something..ask ahead of time!
Anyways...enough with my rant..phew..I feel better..haven't written that much in a long while. I'm not trying to be negative but if I kept it in any longer I would have exploded..it looks like I need a good talk with my mom..but that will have to wait til I get other things done, and I am more calm...lol.
Off to go get things done academically before I get picked up for dance practice, then have to come home and go to sleep to get up at 6am tomorrow..yay!! So much...to do..glad I took only 7 units this semester..for the first time ever of not being a full time student..still feels like I'm doing just as much work..hopefully everything balances out soon..you all have a blessed night!!
Much Love,
                SunShine    

Sleep..sleep..and many things..

Purely exhausted, and still so much to do...since I've been super busy constantly my body is starting to feel the pain. Yay fibromyalgia...well at least I'm spending time with friends, and getting my homework done. I even got an A on my Plant ID quiz today, Read my "How to Raise your Vibration" book, hung out with Robert this morning, my friends Kat and Gina, Played with Poi, and even ate at my favorite and only vegan restaurant. Now I'm TA-ing in the Intro to Horticulture class, working on 6 hrs of sleep and then I'll go home and put on make-up for my dance practice tonight...we will be taking pictures and such for flyers...and practice poi with Gina more since we are adding it to our act...which means I need to work with Poi daily from now on..which scares me...terrified of messing up on stage..it sounded cool at the time but now I realize how rusty I am, and we only have two more weeks or so..le sigh...I am so tired...

Vegans, Dancing, and Crystals, Oh my!!!!

 Spent the weekend and Monday with Robert, and Mikol. Going to be in a Burlesque show, when I was told about it I was not aware that it involved removing articles of clothing...classy stripteasing is what I call it. Haha. I was thinking about backing out but now I'm really excited, I get to dance, entertain, and spend girl time with my friends, we don't spend a lot of time together so it's nice that it's going to be every tues night...the downfall is that its tues night at 9:45 pm after being up since 6 am..it's pushing me a bit to the limit, but maybe that's what I need. I'm not taking on anymore!! But it does help with my goals to volunteer and  exercise. I'm the president of the Hort club, my Hort Professors TA in the evening, go to his class in the morning at 8 am and sometimes walk around in the cold morning looking at plants and collecting specimens (which is awesome!!! But sometimes painful due to my disability), not to mention the countless things my mom asks me to get..tomorrow I'm going to take the car to get its breaks checked with my best friend Deanna.

  Also went off to check out a Vegan place that my friend Lauren told me about last week..it's so friggin' awesome!!! The people there are super nice and sweet, very informative, and so many other nice people there. Definitely a mom and pop place, where everyone knows everyone..it's turning into quite a hot-spot. But as I was driving to check this place out I was sure that I was going to run into someone that I knew there..once I got there I ran into Maddy and someone that's a member of the horticulture club as well. I met Maddy through my friend Josh, who just went through a spiritual awakening. Maddy is super spiritual and we have a ton of the same beliefs, astrology, microbials, loving the earth, loving yourself, loving your body, loving each other, sacred geometry, yoga, meditation, and apparently nutrition and vegetarianism. I spent the afternoon with her and her friend/fellow horticulture club member Kimberly. I gave her a choice of the prosperity crystals that  I had left, and she took a red tiger eye, and Kimberly took a hematite. :) I'm super happy to have been able to give these wonderful tools and properity energy to others, also for my dollars I gave one to tipping the employees at Vegan Paradice. It's been a good day..and it's far from over...at least the evening that is...after Berlesque practice I am going to take a hot hot shower..hopefully...off I go woo!

Just Checkin' In!

TA-ing for Intro to Horticulture class tonight, trying to stay awake..I'm sure I'll be wide awake after class. Missing the last 'stickam' chat ever with TipToe..thinking of popping into the chat to see what's going on..I mean it's not like I'm taking notes all over again lol. I am also hungry..cannot wait to get my hands on a veggie pizza...It's been a good week my boyfriend took me on a vacation for my birthday..and showered me with love, gifts, and his amazingness.  Well thought I'd pop in..I'll do a more in depth blog soon, but right now...I'm too tired to do much of anything..hoping I can plan out tomorrow when I get home and get on a game of Skyrim!!! Woooooot!!!!! Maybe hit up my friend to hang out tmw. Who knows!!

Today Today..Oh what a day!

In the Intro to Horticulture night class at the moment, done grading papers and most of the stuff on the board is review..still taking light note though ;) It's been a long and off kind of day. I woke up right on time but traffic made me late to school, should've taken a different route and possibly earlier. Then my usual seat in Hort class was taken so I was shoved in the back between two people and unable to see or even hear that well. I do not like the back..not at all lol. Then Philosophy went great, grabbed gas at Costco, returned my cat's e-collar which freaked her out, til she pulled it off again and again, lol. Then I went to the 99 cent store and bought some salad stuff, then to Target and bought a white board calendar to help better organize myself and my days. Then I went to the post office and they wouldn't let me ship something because it was in a priority mail box..now I understand that..but it was completely covered, they saw me standing in line with this package that had a high MEDIA MAIL bright orange writing on it, thanks to my mother..and didn't say anything the whole twenty odd minutes I stood waiting in line, then they also tell me I can just put it in the mail box if it's media mail...well I can't it needs to be post-marked...so I left quite frustrated and will be returning tomorrow, with my book wrapped in a brown paper bag. Then I went home and spent a little time with my kitten Iris, I feel guilty because I haven't had a lot of time for her nor my Older Cat KeeKee...whom is still bitter with me for letting Iris into her home.
         It's amazing how Iris is super attached to me now, she was waiting for me in my room when I got home this afternoon and slept with me all night curled up in my arms...she was a cuddler before she went into heat, and now that she's fixed it seems that she's even more cuddly. Which brings me to another story..yesterday/Monday morning I woke up at about 10am...then around 10:15 I looked at Iris's wound from being spayed to make sure it was doing okay, since over the weekend it looked like her wound was getting a little puss-ish, well now it was bleeding!!!!! So I called the Spay/Neuter clinic to ask them what to do and they told me to bring her right in and they'd take a look at her..too bad it was about 30 mins out of town..anyways they figured out that she ripped some of her skin out of her stitches...due to her being a kitten and being a spazz..she was trying to run around the first night after she was fixed..drugged and tipsy..she didn't care she wanted to play. So they squeezed the puss out and gave me free antibiotics to battle any oncoming infection. And everyone in the receptionist area all asked me how she was doing, they seemed to care sincerely...it's nice to see.
           Also, Last night was my first night as Official President of the Horticulture club at my college and everything went great! I was nervous but speech class paid off after all and I fit right up there. Everyone was encouraging and nice, all were happy to see a young vibrant face as their President, and someone even said I follower complete protocol which never happens..from what they say,,anyways I'm just glad it went so well, everyone seems to like me or is okay with me being their President and happy that I am getting so involved...and I am happy with it too!!! So exciting! I just love to be able to help :}
         So all in all today's been a pretty good day..although it's been an off day and I just found out others have been feeling the off-ness too..maybe it;s something with the stars or the planets..I should look it up, but I'm glad it's not just me!!!

What a wonderful world.

Waiting for Intro to Horticulture to start, watching people file in one by one. I'm honestly exhausted at this point, but doin' good. I have gotten most of the items I need to start my juice detox. Sadly I found out that all of our local farmers markets are closed due to winter. Le sigh. So I had to buy from FoodMaxx..then I'm checking Raileys and Walmart for Celery due to it being super pricey at FM. Increasing my water intake, decreasing my meat, dairy and sugar intake before the detox, then finally the caffeine  today is my last day that I am allowing myself to have caffeine  Going to be completely on natural juices, teas, Sol'e and a veggie broth for a week to help out my fibromyalgia and for my general health.

Super excited..getting more meditating done, tuning in with the cycles of the earth, about to cleanse my self physically, spiritually, and mentally, cleaning out my room/organizing, finishing my shadow work, and really getting things started with a bang this year already.

I am so happy, and proud of myself..getting up at 6am and sleeping at 10-10:30 every night with insomnia is amazing...so happy and so lucky. I am grateful for living, breathing, waking up, driving, and learning. For the god and goddess, for plants, and for things I am going to be and do for the world.

Change

Sitting in the introduction to Horticulture class as a TA. It's interesting since it's one of my college's secondary colleges in another town, I've never been here, everything's so new. I'm excited to be apart of this class again, I get to review it all over. I'm going to spend a lot of time studying the insects, and the binomial names this semester. My first day has been amazing! I have an awesome class in the morning, we're going to make pressed plant encyclopedias, and I'm going to use the system to make an herbal reference. In my second class, Philosophy my professor is really awesome..totally hippie, totally chill, totally cool..he even curses. I think it's going to be mind blowing, to say the least. There are a lot of interesting people that are in this class, a lot more younger individuals than I am used to, I'm used to a whole bunch of old folks..I love old folks..but this is going to be interesting..so nice to see people my age interested in gardening..pretty shweet. ;) Alright..time to start paying some attention and get focused before class starts..I'm excited..and so excited to see so many curious and excited faces.